i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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