You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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