There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
