i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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