Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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