I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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