I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
