awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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