Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
