ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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