I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
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What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
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The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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