found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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