Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
