I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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