Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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