i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
