So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize