U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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