I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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