i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
