Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize