So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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