Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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