Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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