I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize