I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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