So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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