I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
