He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
home. puking in laundry basket.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
