is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
