Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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