so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
