got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
