remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
