Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
