i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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