I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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