Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.

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(505): My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though. http://tfl.nu/1gr0

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.

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(402): Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this. http://tfl.nu/da6y

Replies (48) Good night (507) Bad night (3825) Order T-Shirt
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.

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(717): You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before. http://tfl.nu/0fke

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(740): View more from Ohio

he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?

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(740): he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine? http://tfl.nu/es01

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

sounds like you fell off the wagon.

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.

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(617): sounds like you fell off the wagon. (1-617): fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon. http://tfl.nu/7sjj

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You know how to spell recollection?

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(724): You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there (412): You know how to spell recollection? http://tfl.nu/3vjh

Replies (16) Good night (5337) Bad night (1278)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success

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(978): Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success http://tfl.nu/y2pz

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(416): View more from Toronto

She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.

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(416): She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me. http://tfl.nu/1tg4

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(609): View more from New Jersey

We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.

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(609): We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada. http://tfl.nu/0b9c

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.

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(978): I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it. http://tfl.nu/93wr

Replies (6) Good night (2330) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.

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(615): I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/rzly

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(317): View more from Indiana

I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.

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(317): I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30. http://tfl.nu/4yw7

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay

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(859): Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay http://tfl.nu/mr5s

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(303): View more from Colorado

His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it

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(303): His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it http://tfl.nu/k4oj

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"

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(701): I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day" http://tfl.nu/o3b3

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