Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
