i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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