We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
