census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
