trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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