he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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