I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
