that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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