So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she looked like the before picture.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
