Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
