If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize