Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
