You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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