waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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