Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
