No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
